Thursday, May 11, 2017
Being a Father!
Sharing something which is close to heart of most of us i.e. role of parent in life, may it be father or mother; most of us have been gone through either of the role in both ways! Means we either have experienced our parents as kids or we are playing the role of parents; only the most unlucky ones who doesn’t have the wonderful memories of their parents! I am lucky to have best of parents though I can’t be sure of my kids saying so, yet being a father is not just fun & joy but a responsibility also especially with the fast changing new genre. I think being father is not the role restricted to your own son or daughter but the role extends to your work place also. As you grow by age as well experience, at work your junior colleagues also looks at you as a fatherly figure around & expects guidance from you. In all this process most important is constant dialogue & sharing & you can do it by writing down your thoughts & then share along with numbers of across sharing’s! Ultimately responsibility can’t be taught, one has to feel it & understand it by oneself so is fatherhood! Here is something I wrote to rohit, my elder son; though I am writing to him on his birthdays since long but the language keeps changing as he grew in age yet the feelings as well thought process remains same! Do read & share with your close ones as a person can be best understood with what he or she expresses…
12th May 17
Happy Birth Day Rohit!
"You are lucky if you get even one person out of thousands around you who really gets happy with your success"... Del Carnegi.
Dada, on your 22nd birthday I can say you are lucky as you have at least two such persons around you in the form of your parents as many a times even your parent may not be happy with what you call success! And do mind success's definition does differs from person to person so is happiness. I will advise you that don't tie your happiness with success as that will often make you unhappy. Well, now you are no more in teen age leave apart a dad's boy to listen to me yet for me you will always be the same as I seen you first day of your entry in my life, a smiling giggling chubby baby! And that makes me keep writing you on your birthdays as well keep on advising you whenever I feel like. Recently I came across an interesting quote, "By the time you will realize your father was right your sons would have started thinking you are wrong!" Just wonderful, as I have experienced it by myself so can’t agree with it more; beta, I know today whatever way I behave, you as well chota, both must be thinking of me as an arrogant fool but then this arrogant fool loves & care for you both is also a fact! All a father wants is his sons should not repeat the mistakes he did & I am no exception. Dada, add three months to your today’s age & I got engaged with aai at that age but today things have changed a lot; the challenges are different so are the opportunities. In all these changing times one thing remained same, definition of good & bad never changes, mind it always! So stick to goodness always, whatever you do & avoid badness as much you can & for that understand what is good & bad in first place.
As a father my views towards upbringing may not match with you but will share a small story with you here...
"Long back in a small town there were two friends, one was teacher & another was rich businessman. They both decided to grow some fruit bearing trees & planted few trees in the back yards of their homes. The rich businessman kept a special person to take care of his trees & instructed him to give lots of spring water as well fertilizers to the trees! While the teacher has nobody to take such care neither has money to buy costly fertilizers or spring water, so all he did is used to lift the water from his well manually & gave little but whatever essential water needed to his trees! One day there was big storm in the town at night & when the businessman woke up in morning saw all his trees has been uprooted by the storm & collapsed on ground completely. He rushed to the teacher friend's home & to his surprise the teacher's trees were all up & swaying happily on the tune of morning breeze! He asked to teacher what special care he has taken as his trees are unaffected by the storm? The teacher smilingly said, nothing, I just gave them enough water to survive so their roots went deep in the soil in search of more water as well food & in the process the trees become strongly grounded & that's why they could hold the storm whereas your tree's roots didn't went deep as they had enough water & food on the surface itself making them weak to face the storm!"
The story ends here & I am sure by now you are grownup enough to know the meaning of the story & who plays what role in the story of your life. Just one thing, if you want to enjoy the breeze then you must strengthen yourself to survive the storms; you should realize this & adopt it in life as that’s what growing is! What more I can wish for your birthday than to see you growing & not just ageing & yes thanks for making me understand fatherhood, I take it as return gift from you!
Love you always…